I Need ur Shoulder

There I was, at Pazar. I was standing in front of a particular fruit seller. There is a fruit that i like that he was selling that ı wanted to buy. But there was a crowd. A lot of people were buying something from the seller. I waited patiently and quietly behind a lady…for her to finish buying her fruits.. when suddenly another old lady next to the lady in front of me said… in turkish..

“oh how nice isnt it to be able to buy ur fruits and have a helper (pointing her fingers at me) to carry the things u buy”

I couldnt decide what to feel. Should i feel angry? Should i feel humiliated? Should i just ignore the lady and forgive her for her ignorance?

I chose to keep my silence. Physically, i was not that sloppy looking that day. I was wearing my jeans and my windbreaker. Just because my skin tone is darker..not white..does that mean that i am of a lower Standard? That i am only fit to work as a maid?...It wasnt enough that I was mistaken for a babysitter on those days when the children’s playground was a place i used to frequent..

When the lady in front of me said in turkish… * I dont know her (pointing at me)*..the lady who said i was a maid apologized… but still with a look that clearly said that she considered me as a lower level person…perhaps like a çingene..of a gypsy Standard….with a twitch on her mouth that was very irritating

oh helloooooooooo…. Do i look like a house helper to u? All because i am dark coloured??

I forgive her ignorance… she needs to educate herself… but that didnt take away this anger i feel inside… i would love to tell her… i am not who she thinks i am.. that my education is not low at all.. and that i am a queen in my own home…n i am a person not to be looked down upon… but looking at her..i knew deep down..saying anything at all was useless…

I kept my silence…
But this anger stays….

Dont get me wrong… i dont encounter this kind of treatment often.. very rare indeed… most turks r warm towards me…türks in general r very nice and warm people… some even stopped me while i was walking and asked me of my roots.. with a smiling face..with a hug…and sweet words like…*oh..canım benim*… ..Türks in general..love Malaysians… ..not all r ignorant..but this one encounter with this one lady…..makes me sad….

Yes... I am fat. True. I am coloured. But to be downgraded like that…it hurts…

Have a Nice Weekend Everyone!

Smileeeeeeeeeeeee

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..