How do u?
How do u comfort that heartwhich could bear no more?
How do u tell her to be strong
How do u tell her to be strong
when she had endured everything
for far too long n far too much?
How do u tell her
How do u tell her
that things will be better when they clearly arent?
How do u tell her
How do u tell her
to not feel at fault coz she is a victim n nothing else?
How do u tell her anything at all
How do u tell her anything at all
coz everything in everything is too full with dark clouds?
How do u?
How do u?
Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..
Labels: Questions in my mind
posted by simah at
6:07 PM
13 Comments:
simah suspense pulak n3 hari ni...
hopefully not april fool joke sudah lah....haha
A-a la, Simah. Baru balik weekend getaway ni terus ada 1001 question marks pulak?;)
adush simah... naper entry yang ini plak?
Trying to dissect your entry - looking for maksud yg tersurat & tersirat nih...ada apa2-an sih?
Sometime kan, you don't need to say a thing - just be there for the person.
And jgn lupa, byk perkara yg berlaku - hanya Tuhan yang tahu segala.
Er, appropriate ka?rad
kak elle
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i wish it is an april fool entry :0)
happy april fool day to u!! :0)
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hazia
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heheheh question mark kan best sekali sekala :0)
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mummy rizq
**********
biasa la kan... sesekali sesekala :0)
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Rad
****
tersurat n tersirat..
i see u r good at interpreting it :0)
hanya tuhan yg tahu segalanya... i cuma sedih sungguh utk dia...llah aja yg tahu kan.ç..dah tercatit kot kat dalam Qadar dia hidup akan jadi mcm ni...
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Hello Simah, I see a picture of a broken heart.
Broken hearts bukan senang boleh repair, tarok glue atau bandage pun tidak boleh....but time.
I have gone thru quite a few 'broken hearts', mine. As well broken a few too, not mine.
My heart was broken,(when my age was south of 30 then) damaged, torn, twisted no doktor worth his garam can repair and always thought 'itu la dia', give up women, maybe masuk Monastery in Bangkok. But time,...time heals all wounds. Some tiga minggu,(when younger tiga hari only! When older, takes longer, ha ha) some tiga tahun, but slowly learn how to senyum again and nampak mata hari again, not only mata hari but soon a 'wa...siapa punya kakak tu, the one in sarong (or cheong sum)'? Ahhh, the wound suda cured.
Then the merry go round starts again.
Regarding my breaking a few? Ya la, kesian. All my fault la. I guess you missed my 15 page Blog, yes! 15 pages!! every week a continuation posting of (in Dec 2006, "A letter from the past") of a how a letter from my past caught up to me after 30 years. (Regret I have erased the cherita as it made everyone cry reading it)Tada my address, only my nama. It was from a matured lady I rented a room back in Malaysia long ago. I was 28 then, she a beautiful, matured, Shanghainese widow about 50.
She had fallen in love with me, I even though like her very much was too engrossed in my career climbing. Anyway, to potong the cherita pendek, the day I left her house on transfer to another state, we embraced saying goodbye, dia menangis and stood by the Flame of the forest tree waving and crying as I drove off slowly....half of me wanted to slam my brakes and turn around, but I carried on. She was really heart broken too.
Then after few times visit her, lost all contact till some years ago, here in Canada, her no address letter caught up to me. Terperanjat betul la, Simah. A stranger from KL on holiday brought the letter, looked at the telephone book to find me. I had to answer 3 questions to prove I was the right person who stayed at her house.
Another time I broke a woman's heart...she was going steady with me then when I went o/seas few months, dia suda fooled around with a friend and then wanted to return to me. It was on board the Penang ferry with her that I threw the ring (very expensive emerald ring too!) I had given her into the sea. Later I drove away, never to see her again. She caused quite a scene at the ferry terminal crying and calling me back.
This story was also posted in my blog. I think 8 pages. But again, regret to say I deleted it off. Too sad.
So Simah, I have had my fair share of broken hearts.
But a good strong shoulder for a broken heart goes a long way, if you know what I mean. I know. Lee.
dear uncle lee...
ahhhh..i wish i had the chance to read all those long entries of urs (15 pages? woah!...)... no chance of retrieving it back ker uncle? i am sure i will cry...even the summary makes me sad...
thank u for sharing ur love stories...waaaa uncle..u masa muda dulu so hensem ka sampai banyak yg minat kat u??
true.... hearts broken memang sudah nak baik... lebih lebih lagi dalam kes yg satu ni.. ni kes hati terluka dan terpecah dari satu peringkat ke satu peingkat sampai hancur selama terlampau banyak tahun...rasanya nak baik pun tak ada harapan kot...
yeah...i agree with u uncle..
*a good strong shoulder for a broken heart goes a long way*
thanks :0)
Hi Simah, this was the sealed, faded with age envelope that found me here in Canada few years ago. It was a real shock to me as well brought tears to my eyes. A year after I left her house, she moved back to Penang and thus I lost all contact with her. I searched all over but didn't know where she was.
30 years passed then got the call from the stranger from KL who phoned me with the 3 questions to confirm my real identity. I met him in town. He then handed me the letter (two letters, one a short note from her friend giving me a return address). I posted on my blog 15 pages (in December, but regret I erased all as it made my friends cry) and these 3 letters are from 'page 14'. (Page 15 was when I went back to KL for holidays few years ago, took a quick trip to Penang and visited her grave with her daughters.)
I am giving you the 3 letters I posted on page 14, 1/ her letter, 2/&3/ other two replies from her daughters in 3 parts here. UL. "My dearest Lee, I hope this letter reaches you and finds you well. When you read this letter you will know I am no longer around. Please do not feel sad, but just remember the good times we both shared.
You came into my life bringing sunshine and laughter that I have treasured all these years.You brought happiness that I never thought I will ever find again, and always, the perfect gentleman treating me with warmth, kindness and respect that only you know how. Thank you Lee
As I write this letter, I remember that one day, late evening when you arrived in the rain to rent a room from me, a tall, shy, handsome young man. I remember the beautiful candle light dinners and evenings we had together, the evening walks by the beach on moonlight nights, the lovely presents you gave me, the night by the beach where you gave me a blue ribbon for my hair, the many beautiful yellow, red roses and orchids, your sense of humour, your always comforting presence, but most of all that beautiful two weekends in Trengganu where we became lovers and I finding the happiness I had long seek. How can I forget the beautiful bouquet of yellow roses that arrived for me on the anniversary of that weekend with the words,'With Beautiful Memories",.....oh Lee,you remembered!
That day when you said 'good-bye' to me was the saddest day of my life. Only your parting words," be strong....be brave, our memories will give us strength in the years ahead" ,and wiping my tears you said,"no smile is as beautiful as those that pass through tears", gave me the strength to be alone again. Oh Lee,.....how I missed you so, that night, the next week and the years that passed by.
Lee, I regret I never told you this before, as time and fate did not permit me to, but you made me love again, a love I never thought I will ever find, a love I cherish forever. I now say this, Lee, I have loved you, I love you and I will always love you '.
I now due to circumstances,say 'goodbye' to you my darling, with the same words you wrote on the bouquet of yellow roses you quietly left in my room when you left that day;
'What though the radiance which was once so bright,Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring
back the hour of splendour in the grass,
Of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather
Find strength in what remains behind'.
I leave here with you the blue ribbon you gave me which I have treasured for the memories................
Goodbye my darling Lee, I love you very much, forever and always and I now wish you all the very best in whatever you do.
With my love, tears and memories, Irene.
PS. I have instructed my daughters to find you and hand this letter to you personally. I Hope it finds you Lee and finds you well. I love you, goodbye my darling,......goodbye".
LETTER FROM YOUNGEST DAUGHTER . Date:.xxxx (Name, Address witheld with sincere respect)
Dear Mr Lee,
Thank you very much for your letter. I regret my sister and I never had the opportunity to meet you due to certain circumstances. On behalf of my sister we sincerely apologise on you receiving this letter after all this time.We regret to inform you our mother passed away peacefully at home on xxxx after a short illness. It was after her 58th birthday.
She was ever so cheerful and radiant till the last. She a week before passing away, gave me a sealed letter with only your name on it, no address with instructions to find you and hand letter over personally. Please believe me we tried. We asked around with friends hoping someone might know you or know someone who does. Spoke to two gentlemen, not our acquaintance who had come in contact with you business wise but only briefly mentioned you had left for USA, others Vancouver, Canada one even Australia, but none we knew had your actual address. We did however by chance encountered my mother's best friend who has met you once and volunteered to look for you, and only recently met a friend who knew where you are, but not the city, but not an aquaintance of yours and was going to your country shortly on holiday.
As I am not able to hand letter to you personally,(sorry) I have in turn asked mentioned lady to give to the gentleman and to look up the phone book in the cities he will be visiting and hopefully find you and call you personally, and to be sure of your identity, ask you three questions that only you will know the answers to confirm (hope you don't mind?), and if it is you, to hand envelope personally by hand. We hope this finds you and finds you well.
My sister and I believe you have played a very big part in my mother's life and her happiness, even though she has never mentioned about you at home. For that my sister and I are truly grateful, and thank you Mr Lee.
We would certainly appreciate you send us a note upon receipt of this letter.
With sincere apologies for the delay, we thank you once again.
Most Sincerely, xxxxxx and xxx
Hi Simah, here 3rd letter. Dear Mr Lee,
Thank you for your condolence card and letter and the money for the roses enclosed. We are so happy you have received the letter regretting the years passed. My sister and I now feel happy we have fulfilled my mother's last wish in that you get her letter. I'm sure she knows you have received her letter.
Mr Lee, We bought the bouquet of 21 yellow roses as you requested and have placed it on mother's grave with your beautiful poem, "Irene, I will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind", a few days after receiving your letter, as well will carry out your other request of putting a single red rose on her grave with the words, "with beautiful memories" on her birthday. Thank you for your warm and kind thoughts, Mr Lee. I will carry out your wish on her birthday.
To answer your query, mother became ill about a year after she decided to come stay with me in Penang and was hospitalised several times. However, realising she had not long to live, she prefered to be home with us. Mr Lee, there was something we used to notice, she always had a blue ribbon under her pillow or in her hair or holding it while sitting by the window at home. She never went anywhere without that ribbon. She never complained of her illness, but was radiant and happy till the last.
She never did once mention about you, but my sister and I believe you had something to do with the blue ribbon . We did notice the blue ribbon was missing only after she had passed away.
She, a few days before passing away, gave me the sealed letter with your name on it, but no address; and instructed me and my sister to find you and hand the letter over personally.The rest you know.
Mr Lee, on behalf of my sister, we would like to thank you sincerely once again for the happiness you brought to my mother's life. Thank you. Our very best regards to you. Please do not hesitate to drop by should you be in the vicinity. Yours Truly, XXX
dear uncle..
heart wretching letters... i cant imagine the feelings u must have felt upon recieving that letter... the memories it brought..
n for the daughters to finally being able to fulfill their mother's last wish...what a happy day it must be for them...
u were sweet then..u r still sweet to her even after her death...that is a quality so rare these days..
again n again..i thank u for sharing with me the letters..n a glimpse of the stories... it left me with this heavy heart of sadness...n to read the whole story would mean...flood...
u take care uncle...n thanks again :0)
UL & simah,
What an experience! *speechlessrad*
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