Şekerim

I read on the net that breastfeeding was almost a sure natural way to prevent pregnancy… or so i thought…Of course Allah had a different plan for me.. i could still remember everyone’s suprise when Halil n i announced to the whole family that i was pregnant with our second child….n Hatice was only 5 months old! To tell u the truth… i was kindda shock too… i was just cherishing n learning to be a new mom…with my baby girl..n there was one more coming!! İ just didnt know what to feel…

But then, i had the greatest mom in law ever…though i had no morning sickness at all…most days than not… we ate at anne n baba’s…well.. she used to cook enough to feed the whole army anyway…. Besides, Hatice at that time simply loved (still loves) to go to her grandparents’ place… she would cry just to go there… n we practically went there almost everyday! N to be pregnant…heheheh i was more eager than not to escape from having to cook *wink*.. poor anne… what a bad bride i was (hopefully not *am*)…

I couldnt enjoy the moment of my pregnancy with baddin much coz…well…mainly because… i was busy dealing with Hatice…i remember how she could cry so loudly that..the whole street could hear her ..

What i feel so guilty about is the way i was…2 pregnancies…i had 2 different treatments toward them..with Hatice..it was my first time…everything was soooooo cherished.. the preparation for her birth was so exciting… before i got pregnant the first time, i made a pact with Allah… i begged him that if i got pregnant, i would finish reading the whole Al Quran before my baby would be born… i honoured that promise..n on top of that..i joined the quran reading during the fasting month organised by the neighbours… n i also finished reading the Quran translation as well…not to mention that i used to read Yasin continuously…

But with baddin… it was a totally different matter…i was exhausted from trying to deal with Hatice… i could not even read the Quran properly..i barely could read yasin often… ..i could not be excited over the coming of the new baby simply because i was too tired by the end of each day… that is a guilt i carry all my life as a mom….sorry kiddo..u were sort of ignored when u were in my tummy…

And then u were born…my life becomes complete…a loving husband… a wonderful baby girl n then u…

Both of u have grown into fine kids……2 kids with 2 different characters… Hatice… so mature…so sisterly…so responsible… while baddin…. So like any youngest child would…a crying baby ..n somehow spoilt.. but deep down i sense that he will outgrow such character n turn into a fine man one day…just like the sister…..a fine young lady… (hehehe puji anak sendiri)

The point is…though u didnt get enough attention while u were in my tummy….i hope u r not devoid of love as u n ur sister r growing up…i try to give as much love, hugs n kisses equally to both of u…ur baba tries his best too…

It was today, in 2002 we were blessed with ur presence…it was today u were named Sabahaddin…it was today…i was a mom the second time….Şekerim… u n ur sister r the light of my life…

Happy 5th Birthday!

May u grow up to be a good person,inside n out :0)

I love u

p.s - zaimlar... cumartesi akşam toplaniyoruz.. :0)

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