Am i insane?

Am i insane? Yes...that is the question. Am i?

I woke up yesterday morning as usual. Prepared the kids for school...sent them off ...and straight away jumped into bed to hug my beloved... U see... his eldest brother, selim n he were scheduled for a noon flight to Albania..

When it was time to get ready....i thought i'd go to bağdat caddesı that morning... so i decided to send him off at the bostanci ferry stop coz they would go to the airport from there.... Then, i had this craziest urge.... i begged my beloved for him to permit me to follow him to the airport... He didnt put in much resistence... he probably wanted me there too..after all, we barely had seen each other the nite before... he was simply too busy these days...and as for me...the kids had extra class yesterday.... i needed to pick them from school only by 6.10pm...i had plenty of free time yesterday...

Selim said *bye* to me as they were about to take a taxi to the ferry stop..
i said..*hey! i am coming with you!!* ...


He said *bye* again as they were entering the ferry place...

and i said *Hey! i am coming with you!*



He finally gave up trying to say *bye* to me..and instead...

he asked me..... *r u sure u dont have a ticket to albania too??*

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

I took a bus from the airport to kozyatağı...right in front of içerenköy carrefour.... walked home from there (25 minutes)..... reached home..rushed to the pc coz i had stuffs to do there...15 minutes later... off i went again...this time to afife teyze (15-20 min) of walk....hot n sweaty... n tired...i decided to walk to the kids' school as well....so from 3pm....from divan pastanesi... i walked and walked...making a stop at nezih bookstore n toilet for 5 mins each...as i was in bostancı... by accident, i tripped on my knees..luckily there was no incoming car!...but my jeans... my beloved fav marks n spencer jeans is torn!! my knee was indeed painful..but i was more sad of my torn jeans...huwaaaaaaaa...my fav jeans...it came as a gift...i wont be able to buy one myself.... but determined i was of this walk... and so as the wind of the seaside area was blowing quite strongly....i walked on...ü

By 4.30.pm... my head was starting to be giddy.... i knew that my sugar level was dangerously low... i was in danger of fainting...luckily i reached the area where there are rows n rows of shops to go to... and so i entered burger king...i ordered a big cup of ice tea and chicken fries ....something sweet ..something salty... i felt a bit better but not well enough to leave the shops area.... and so i decided to buy some chocolates... as i walked from one shop to another...munching the chocolates... and looking whether there r any jeans on sale...(Yikes! the ones on sale r only of size 32!! i wear 36!! no luck there)...i finally felt better after 10 minutes..my sugar level was again at the safe level... and so i walked on n on...this time though...with less speed....and finally by 5.50pm... i reached the kids' school....picked the kids up...walked another 15 minutes to the mini bus area...and later..off we went home..it was starting to get dark by the time we reached home...i was on the run ever since morning (i woke up at 5.30am)...and after all those walk... (n eating hehehe)... i have gained 1.5 kg!!!!!!! Incredible eh? my weight challenge is really down the drain right now....:0(

Upon self analysis... the part when i followed my beloved to the airport was mainly coz i wanted to spend time with him..even though he was chatting with his big bro 99 percent of that time.... the walking non stop....i guess subconciously...i was not looking forward to spend the nite alone without him... i knew that i would miss listening the click clack sound of the keyboard as he plays the pc football game...him mumbling to himself n i scolding him to come to sleep... and so..i did what i am good at most.... walking for hours so that i would get too tired to think of him.... true enough... but the bad thing is... when i talked to him at 11.08pm...i was drowsy from sleepiness n i cant remember what i talked to him about! hahahaha....

Anyway... i should thank Funda for making Selim connect his phone for international calls...coz without that..there is no way i can call my beloved...The truth is... i am not too worried of my beloved... he has his big brother next to him...Selim as always...never fail to protect his baby brother...my beloved is in safe hands....insyaAllah... n it will be great for the two brothers to be able to spend time together with each other...chatting non stop 24/7 for many days... this will be a holiday for them..a gateaway of some sort for my beloved from me...his non stop mumbling wife...:0) ...My beloved needs the break... he hasnt got one eversince his dad died...maybe this trip will revitalize him... i just hope he wont forget to buy souvenirs for us poor souls being left behind at home! *wink*


Miss u loads tem! U know i am crazy...i do insane things in my life (for example..marrying you)... but what i did yesterday was.... TOTALLY insane!

dear friends... what do u think? am i insane???


Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

Babies n life...

My dear friends....i have a confession to make... as much as i would love to cook u all lahmacun once i am in malaysia... i am afraid... it is impossible coz i dunno how to prepare it coz u cannot cook it in a normal oven...u need a special oven just like the one when u cook pizza.. ...so it is impossible to prepare lahmacun (thin turkish pizza) at home...but i strongly suggest u all try eating a wondrfully cooked lahmacun whenever u come across one :=)

Baddin's class teacher, 2 of the moms of his classmates and i went for a visit to another mom's place....a simple visit to celebrate the birth of her new son....

I have almost forgotten that smell of heaven... that look of innocence of a lil one..untouched by the darkness of life....so sweet looking....so peaceful...and to hear the wonderful news for a sweet friend in Malaysia of her very much long awaited pregnancy...yesterday was indeed a wonderful day to remember...

Of course as in tradition in the turkish culture, it is common to give this....

*cumhurriyet altını*...gold in form of a coin to the newborn baby (the 4 of us shared the price of the coin)... and attached to the coin was this....

The sleeveless sweater which i knitten eversince friday...yeah..i know..it is not perfect... to the trained eyes...u can see some flaws..but it was knitted from the heart..and from this inexperience knitter like me...i really had put in loads of hours into it....despite my hectic social life hehehe...

I suppose i have to thank Mahture yenge as my main teacher (next to özlem's mom n muyessa yenge)...i remember how panicked i was after anne (my mom in law) died... U see... i naively thought that she would live forever... i was counting on her to knit my kids' wool sweaters etc..etc..she is a wonderful knitter... she even used to buy wool, buttons and knitting stuffs everytime she went overseas..Naturally, when she died so suddenly, i was looking for solace... n i found it in yenge...baddin was just a baby then...i remember how i used to go to her to learn to knit.... i mean... what did i know of knitting? i had no knowledge of whatsoever in knitting... i turned to yenge... and with countless trips in between baddin's sleeping time.... she taught me the basics of knitting... i rarely knit...thatz why even after all these year... every winter... yenge is sure to hear me knocking her door to ask her of this and that hehehehehe..

But what i cant forget is this conversation i had last saturday... that day when i asked her a few questions as i was completing this sweater....

Simah: Yenge... her şey için teşekkur ederim. Hakkınız helal et..

(Yenge... thank you for everything. Make ur rights helal over me)

Mahture Yenge: Helal olsun. Öğren her şey artık. Ben her zaman yaşamamkı. Ben gitmeden önce,öğren!

(Everything is halal. U should learn everything. I am not going to live forever. Before i die, learn!)

Simah:Öğreniyorum işte! (i am learning) I grinned at her...Yenge...sen olmasa, ben ne yapayım?

(Yenge, if u r not here, what will i do without u?)

Mahture Yenge: Elimdeki ne var sa...sana yardım ederim... yeterli ben ölunca, biraz dua bana hediye edin. Kocam yok... çocuklar yok...

(I will help you as much as i can. It is only enough that once i die.... send a little bit of prayers my way. I dont have my husband and kids anymore)

I was left speechless...

what do u say to words like these? my eyes started to flood...i can feel the empathy of her longing...

her hubby and kids died many years ago.... for a woman to go on living alone...without her hubby and kids to fuss over.... it cant have been easy.ture.. she has her siblings, in laws,nephews,nieces...etc..etc... but having her own flesh n blood next to her is definitely not the same thing.....

Yenge...dont worry... ur request is at my command, insyaAllah... :0)

Am off on the run again!! will answer the comments in my previous entry tonite... :0)

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

Cerita rojak rojak

Salam Maulidur Rasul....

A very special day indeed today...

I wish i am able to read Quran or fast today...but since it is impossible...i can only listen with jelousy as a few moms of Hatice's classmates were telling me of their plans today...and tonite...

Things had been hectic eversince last tea visit (see my previous entry)...

I had attended another 2 teas at 2 different places with just a day gap in between each! (3 in total eversince thursday)

My weight challenge is down in the drain...and even today... was out of the home ever since this morning jumping from one place to another... crossing one continent to another...even got the chance to visit places with great de javu...him being the perfect gentleman for today...Alhamdulillah.... adding a few kilos is worth the price of happiness i feel right now...

Remember the national anthem i practically went crazy trying to teach baddin...?? It turned out that..for the competiton baddin was to enter (in his class)... he was actually supposed to memorize the national anthem and presented it as a poem!! and to think we worked hard....in song form!!!Oh no! me n my turkish incompentecy!

And at the ground floor of the school.....for Çanakkale Zaferi...(a celebration celebrating the success of the turkish army from stopping the invasion of outside forces(british etc) in history)..

my daughter's pic was/is among the pics being hang at the ground floor of theschool! Bravo kiddo!

Not bad eh for a first grader??

and just look at this pide (from our unplanned ada trip)
and this lahmacun
(also from the unplanned ada trip)

Alhamdulillah..i am blessed with the existence of these three special people..

Ah...look at my beloved...isnt he just cute (neck up only! hahaha)

May u both grow up to be good people, in n out...

and be blessed with good spouses...

But let us nbot forget the trip at the zoo....!!

safa n baddin..

urs truly..i am even shorter than this pony!!! arghhhhhhh

Allah ayırmasın insyaAllah...

cousins at the zoo playground...

tiger tiger burning bright..in the middle of the nite...

watching with full concentration hehehe

it says there...*do not feed the animals*..

of course..these two were feeding the animals! hahaha

i must bring them to zoo in Malaysia... they simply love this one trip...!

p.s...if i am unable to blog hop..that is because my socializing this week (till the weekend) is far from over!!

bear with me! :0)

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

Veli Çayı aka Taziye Ziyareti

a girl will always be happy to recieve at all times

I personally wouldnt say no to these flowers..

or these ones....
in fact..i wouldnt say no to any kinds of flower :0)
i just simply dont get flowers unless i go buy by them myself...:0)

Yup... my living room has live flowers right now...
Courtesy of the 10 moms and 1 teacher of Hatice's classmates as they were at my home on Thursday
for *veli çayı* (tea ) aka meeting as well as *taziye ziyareti* (condolence visit-of baba's death)

tortilla with doner meat filling..simahz style
(i made this up actually hehe)
Recipe in the
Zaim Ladies Recipe Blog


Humus
(a special request from my beloved)
recipe here

Kabak-Havuç Salatası
Recipe to be found in Zaim ladies recipe blog
at http://www.simahzaim1.blogspot.com/


Kısır
made from fine bulgur (fine pounded wheat)


slices of lemon with fresh mint on top... just in case there are peoplewho loves to drink their tea with a drop of mind n fresh mint (like my beloved)

a typeof börek with dont ask me what the filleng is hahaha i just made it
up again! hahahaah

a simple salad...
freshly diced tomatoes, cucumbers and mint leaves

and pickles....etc..etc... forgot to snap the pics :0)

A dessert.. Baddin's fav..

tart with vanilla cream filling topped with fresh kiwi,strawberries and berries..
topped with jelly(agar agar flown all the way from Malaysia or is it singapore?)... anyway...thanks kak Elle...ibu...KC and gang! :0) love u guys loads! what will i do without ur supply of our local stuffs?

I knew i had caught this epidemic virus where diarhoea and vomitting r a part of itz symptoms on Monday... In fact... i had fever that Tuesday night... and i begged Allah silently...

*Ya Allah... i will be having guests on Thursday... please..postpone this virus attack at least until they have gone*..

Alhamdulillah... despite not feeling too well... Allah had postponed the violent attack of the diarrhoea...and what do u know?? The moment the guests went.. (we also had a small lady as a guest after the momz tea gathering)...i practically spent the whole night going from and to the toilet...I accepted it coz Allah obviously had accepted my plea to begin with...being sick is a part of my test...

I was feeling quite ok in the morning... instead of just letting only halil go with thekids to settle the passport extention for my beloved n the kids... i joined too...as usual... we needed other papers ..and therefore only my beloved passport were able to be extended... no matter... we still have till 11 th june to renew the passport of the kids..my concern is the permanent resident renewal next m0nth..i cant say i am looking forward to going on ques for that... :0)


I have just realised something... Last year... i very rarely joined any *veli cayı* ...tea aka meeting conducted in turns at a parent's home...that was when hatice was in pre school of course... Nowadays...if i am honest with myself... i kindda enjoy going to these teas...no..i do not like taking a mini bus to school before we proceed to the place of tea... yes.. i practically dread when on those days i would have to return home with the kids using the school service...but i find the moms who join the teas are actually very warm and nice... mostly, they are sweet...i kindda enjoy having to get together with them.. chat about the kids' development and problems... and ask the teacher this and that...there are a few of moms of baddin's classmates that i can talk to almost on a lot of topics...the same with the moms of hatice's classmates... those moms who do not work...they usually join these teas...they are sweet as well....and most importantly... they are the humble friendly type even though in general they are rich.. (this is a private school after all)..

i was analysing them yesterday... when they came to our home... my home is no doubt small... there isnt any place on the walls... couch...chairs...etc..etc which has no stain...my home truly needs a major overhaul and renovation...but i saw none of them looked down on me..acting high n mighty (as some rich people do)... many tried to help me out while clearing the plates...etc... they looked at me warmly. ...i could feel sincerity in their hearts... which made the time spent on the food preparation (despite i was not feeling very well) all worth it...to recieve guests is a honour in itself... and to recieve guests who r warm... that is a blessing...i think i am looking forward for the next tea meeting in 3 weeks' time :0)
What is happening to me?? i am an anti social person.. why am i looking forward to socializing??? hmmm... this is an interesting development :0)

The thing is.... hatice will be together with the same classmates for at least (maybe more..am not sure of the system) ...3 years... so it helps to get to know the moms better so that we all can communicate with each other better ..to talk about our kids... THank God for the invention of handphones... each of us has each other's number...!
It was also heart warming when yassin was read for baba yesterday... and with the division of yuz...insyaAllah by the next tea time.. we will all try to finish the whole Quran.... dedicated to baba (my late dad in law)...

Life goeson... and i think..i have decided to enjoy it as best as i possibly can despite all the challenges

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

The door..

There i was.... sitting in front of my pc...checking my email...just got back from buying 12 donuts from u know where hehehe (there goes my weight challenge!)..and the door bell rang...a lady was at the door...

lady: Ben aroma su dan...biz promosyon yapiyorus....bir bedava bidong su veriyoruz
(I am from aroma water (she's a promoter)...we have a promotion right now and we are giving free water.
simah:Tamam...(ok)..

lady: Anneniz yokmu? (isnt ur mom here?)

simah: Annem yok ( my mother is not here*which was not a lie*)

lady: Evde kimse yok mu? (Isnt anyone at home?)

simah: Hayır (Nope..)

And she gave me the pamplet and left...

Phew! thatz one promoter gone! And that lady was asking for my mom??that girl must be younger than i am!!!! hahahahaha

p.s..am trying to catch up the news on the election in Malaysia... like many..i am suprised by the results....

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

Happy??

There we were chatting on the way to pick the kids up from school.
There i was telling him of that certain period of time...

when i was happy most (after we got married of course)...

And then he he looked at me seriously and said;

"Ah...but u havent asked me when i was happy most!!"????

I smiled at him (speculating happily in my mind of his possible answer) and replied...

"Ok... tell me when"..

And he said ....
"of course i was happy most at those times before u set foot in istanbul!"

And a very very painful pinch was his reward ..
as our gaze locked into each other.... grinning...

Cis... memang nak kena mamat ni! :0)

And may i redirect ur attention to this one blog for a while? Just pretend u understand what is written there! hahaha

here is the link:

www.haticevehikaye.blogspot.com


Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..

İstiklal Marşı

I didnt have the mood to write for a long time....pc problem....hectic life... short depression (for unknown reason)...made me stayed away from writing... i finally wrote something...*So we Can be Safe?...i am not totally too happy with this article...unsystematic story telling... repetition of words... bla bla bla...but it is not so bad...if u r interested...please hop to...


http://www.mytzarticles.blogspot.com/

well.. u can see the link at the side bar on the right side of this blog anyway...

********************************************************************************

On another matter......

Dont get me wrong... i think the istiklal marşı ... the national anthem of turkey is nice... just listen to this tune...

When Baddin's teacher sent a piece of paper with the İstiklal Marsı...the Turkish National Anthem lyrixs for baddin to learn... i subconciously tried to *lose* the paper of the lyrics... i mean... come on!! What do i know of the Turkish National Anthem, eh? I have only heard it a few times!! and so....over the hectic course of the weekend...managed to misplace the paper hehehe(honest!!)

Then come monday and another note came from his teacher saying that Baddin had not learnt his lines and he should learn it...Haydaaaa...i really wanted to cry then...Halil wount be back till wayyyyyyyyy the kids' past bedtime.... I couldnt call him either... he was in a meeting... At that time... i practically was starting to get headache....And with Hatice's help...she managed to sing (she herself has not learnt the lyrics correctly)the rythm of the song....... and so... just like aliens...i tried to teach both my kids the song. lyrics...

As Hatice was doing her homework, i dragged baddin to the pc and prayed that imeem.com has the song for me to learn from (THANKS imeem!)... i got more confused!! The pronounciation and rhythm was such... i had no hope of learning the tune properly..I called Meşe..... Merve (meşe's daughter) picked up the phone... and i asked her help to sing me that song... My *wonderful* (not) turkish pronounciation... my ignorance of the rhythm of the national anthem...all added into one lead to my totall confusion some more...Somehow..i managed to teach baddin almost 3/4 of the song lyrics...

If my beloved has time to teach them...it will be great... but he is too busy... and the little time he has at home... he wants to spend it playing with the kids.... not teaching them the national anthem...

By Nationality.. my kids r turkish citizens... they live in turkey... they go to a turkish school...so...it is only normal that they should know the Turkish National Anthem... Hatice is 99 percent able to sing the song.. Baddin still has difficulties in the second paragraph ...which is normal coz i have difficulty catching n saying those last 3 lines as well....Here is the lyrics... and see whther u can follow the song n the pronounciation as welll :0)...pls click to the istiklal marşı below for the singing and the music..

Korkma,sönmez bu şafaklarda yüzen al sancak,

Sönmeden yurdumun üstünde tüten en son ocak,

O benim milletimin yıldızıdır, parlayacak;

O benimdir, o benim milletimindir ancak.

Çatmak, kurban olayı,çehreni ey nazlı hilal!

Kahraman ırkıma bir gül!Ne bu şiddet, bu celal?

Sana olmaz dökulen kanlarımız sonra helal....

Hakkıdır, Hakk'a tapan, milletimin istiklal!

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There is life

Under the snow,
Beneath the frozen streams
There is life…

You have to know
When nature sleeps,
She dreams there is life…

And the colder the winter,
The warmer the spring
The deeper the sorrow,
The more our hearts sing
Even when you can’t see it
Inside everything
There is life…Ohhh…

After the rain,
The sun will reappear
There is life…

After the pain,
The joy will still be here
There is life…

For it’s out of the darkness
That we learn to see
And out of the silence
That songs come to be
And all that we dream of
Awaits patiently…
There is life…
There is life…
Ohhh…

For it’s out of the darkness
That we learn to see
And out of the silence
That songs come to be
And all that we dream of
Awaits patiently…
There is life…

(There is)

There is life…
ohooohooo

Yes...there is life.... and my life centers around the life of my beloved and my two angels....there is nothing i won't do for them....sooo typical of a wife/mother, eh?

In school, next to the normal schooling, the school also have extra co curricular activities in which they call as *Kış okulu* (winter school) , *bahar okulu*(spring school), and *yaz okulu* (summer school)... it is where the students can choose a sport/music instrument/ etc they would like to join in... let say swimming or learning to play a piano and every saturdays, for one hour and a half, they will learn whatever they have chosen for a price of course.

Last semester, Halil decided to let the kids join the winter school...Hatice had always wanted to learn to ride a horse..... we thought that last semester, we would give her that chance... But i think amidst the exhaustion of learining to read and write, she simply refused to join the winter school coz that would mean that she would have to go to school on Saturdays...that was how tiring school was for her last semester...

Both of my kids actually suprised me when this spring school, they excitedly begged me to let them join the bahar okulu.... of course... i told them that i would discuss it with my beloved coz...well.... to be frank... it is not that cheap... it is 350YTL for one student (every saturdays for 13 weeks)... and 2 kids?? 700 Ytl!! That... i cant say is cheap... and my beloved said yes... and with *sibling discount*... i only paid around 635YTl... phew!..still..it is a lot of money... considering the minimum wage in turkey is 435YTL....i just simply cant imagine how people can live with only 435YTL to support a family... that is too low...May Allah help them...

That was the easy part of course.... and well well... Hatice decided to join Badminton...while Baddin was keen on Football...it would have been easier of course if both join the same sport... the timing would be perfect too.... But i knew that wouldnt be wise... they need to expand their own wings and definitely they should not be under the shadow of each other...they should join the thing that interests them most to gain the best benefit...

Hatice... why badminton? Well... mainly i think she sort of once or twice played badminton at the summer house in sapanca... she loves it...and most importantly.. her 2 best friends r also thinking of joining badminton... and sooooo badminton it is...she is joining the badminton session for pre school, grade 1 and grade 2 students...

Baddin? he is a runner...he lovesssss to run...but he has difficulty in working as a team... and he needs to build his self confidence.... he needs to learn to be competitive..so when he said football..i was more than happy to comply even though his class teacher strongly suggested him to join basketball to strengthened his finger muscles...i want him to learn to be competitive in trying to hit the ball as well as running to get the ball which he truly loves.

But there is a catch to all these of course.... the catch is... on Saturdays... Halil is mostly not at home.... so who has to send the kids off to school? Of course their beloved anne hehehehe

and the best part of all....Hatice's badminton session starts at 9am till 10.30am...baddin? his is from 12.30 noon till 2pm...

.. that means we have to leave home by 8am and reach home only by approx 3.30pm! That is basically one full day staying at school....

I dont mind, really...i'd do anything so that they can develop themselves as best as they possibly can...even if i have to stay long hours at school...

And we had our first session of Bahar okulu....I think it was good... it was quite fun...except the part returning home from school... coz that was the time the mini busses are mostly busy and packed with passengers... the traffic jammed.... it really gave me headache.... But the kids had fun during their badminton n football session... who am i to spoil that for them by saying.... *u cant join the sports coz i cant send u??*

And so... every saturdays.... my kids and i will try to enjoy ourselves in school :0)

hatice with her two best friends; elanur and merve

the coach at the beginning of the session..


You must learn to hold the badminton racquet properly...



Hatice with her new racquet...



Lunch time at 10.30am...i brought their lunch from home..

ribbon shaped pasta cooked with mushroom, hotdog and fresh tomatoes..

ice tea bought from the school canteen..


playing with the green board while waiting for baddin's football session to start

2 siblings at the football sort of field..

baddin playing football..

his face was as red as a beetroot by the end of the football session... hehehe

and he was begging me to take a taxi instead of a mini bus..

Sorry son... i will go bankrupt if we take a taxi every saturdays...so mini bus it is for us :0)

Baddin is the shortest boy in the session... i think he is the only pre schools student in the session.. the rest are from the first grade and the second grade hehehe

so he truly need to work hard to get the ball from the bigger boys..

There is life in each child....we just need to find ways to bring that life out of their shells..

I dunno if this will bring the life that exists in my children...but i am trying..that is the most important thing of all...trying... :0)

Thank You for hopping by...Hope to see u again the next time..